Post by Piccylo on Feb 19, 2008 21:29:09 GMT -5
I recently ran through a bunch of lovely, lovely mythologies (during some research I was doing to smack around the Zeitgeist documentary and the "Zeitgeist: Refuted" nonsense made after that), and I figured that a nice little discussion might come from how creative people of antiquity got with matters of the bedroom.
I present firstly Egyptian mythology, which has so much sex at every corner of its texts that it'd make a red-light granny blush. I mean, we have some special shit going on here. Like, for instance, the conception of Horus. Set is jealous of Osiris, kills Osiris, chops him up into bits, then spreads the pieces all over Egypt. Osiris' wife and sister, Isis, painstakingly gathers all the pieces and sews him together. Oh, of course there's resurrection involved, but there should be noted that she apparently had trouble finding his penis. I guess it was hiding, or Set did something special with that part. In any case, she had to make a clay (or wooden) phallus to make him anatomically correct. And the conception of Horus himself? Well, she got impregnated by having sex with the corpse. In some versions of the story, she didn't get all of him and sewed him together, only having sex with some parts of Osiris.
That's right, folks. Incest, toys, and necrophilia. Ah, the wonderous birth of the gods!
Horus doesn't really get any rest, either. Set decides to hate him just as much as he hated his father (who is also Set's brother, making Horus his nephew, though some versions have Set as a brother to Horus). Well, Set wants to show dominance over Horus, so he invites Horus over one night, they have a good dinner, and they sleep in the same bed. Set, while Horus was asleep, "let himself become hard" and had himself ejaculate on Horus' inner thigh. But Horus apparently knew what was going on (I sure as hell don't) and caught the cum in his hand.
It gets better. In response, Horus goes out and masturbates and has the semen catch on a lettuce leaf. Well, lettuce is Set's favorite food, and Set eats the cummed-up vegetable.
And what happens to Set?
He gets PREGGERS!
Now we have M-PREG to add to Egyptian myth.
I'll get into some more crazy ones, later, but you guys can go ahead and discuss, if you want (assuming people still go here). I think I'll do a nice little Greek god, next.
I present firstly Egyptian mythology, which has so much sex at every corner of its texts that it'd make a red-light granny blush. I mean, we have some special shit going on here. Like, for instance, the conception of Horus. Set is jealous of Osiris, kills Osiris, chops him up into bits, then spreads the pieces all over Egypt. Osiris' wife and sister, Isis, painstakingly gathers all the pieces and sews him together. Oh, of course there's resurrection involved, but there should be noted that she apparently had trouble finding his penis. I guess it was hiding, or Set did something special with that part. In any case, she had to make a clay (or wooden) phallus to make him anatomically correct. And the conception of Horus himself? Well, she got impregnated by having sex with the corpse. In some versions of the story, she didn't get all of him and sewed him together, only having sex with some parts of Osiris.
That's right, folks. Incest, toys, and necrophilia. Ah, the wonderous birth of the gods!
Horus doesn't really get any rest, either. Set decides to hate him just as much as he hated his father (who is also Set's brother, making Horus his nephew, though some versions have Set as a brother to Horus). Well, Set wants to show dominance over Horus, so he invites Horus over one night, they have a good dinner, and they sleep in the same bed. Set, while Horus was asleep, "let himself become hard" and had himself ejaculate on Horus' inner thigh. But Horus apparently knew what was going on (I sure as hell don't) and caught the cum in his hand.
It gets better. In response, Horus goes out and masturbates and has the semen catch on a lettuce leaf. Well, lettuce is Set's favorite food, and Set eats the cummed-up vegetable.
And what happens to Set?
He gets PREGGERS!
Now we have M-PREG to add to Egyptian myth.
I'll get into some more crazy ones, later, but you guys can go ahead and discuss, if you want (assuming people still go here). I think I'll do a nice little Greek god, next.
